New and Old Feelings

It’s been a strange couple of weeks.

I’ve managed to move forward in my healing journey while also reverting back to my old hot-mess-college-student self, simulatneously. I wonder what that says about my healing process. Thank god for the steadfast rule I’ve never broken.

Well since I moved to Boston anyway.

I made choices I regret a little (but not too much to be completely honest), and possibly had too much fun. At the same time I’ve pushed myself to be better about therapy and health. I haven’t found a huge success with it, but I’m still working through it.

Right now I’m struggling with the clash of new feelings and old feelings. Or maybe not the clash but a fear of just how similar they are.

Yesterday I met up with N, and it was different from what I had imagined, but oddly what I had hoped would happen at some point in my life.

(What? Does that even make sense?)

(more…)

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