Our Deepest Fear

I rewatched one of my favorite movies today. I had forgotten how much I loved Coach Carter when I watched it so many years ago.

I can’t stop crying. It is an amazingly beautiful movie full of fierce love, courage, and dedication. There is so much to learn from this movie; it’s on the list of movies I’d want my kids to watch.

I also love the secular version of Marianne Williams’ quote on our deepest fear:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I want to learn to live and love fiercely. I want to achieve that elusive victory within.

x

e

Let go of them, darling

Dearest,

There comes a time in your life when it’s time to say, “Enough,” and walk away. I know deep within you lies a fear of ending up alone, rising levels of anxiety each time you lose someone special to a break-up, death, neglect, or distance. That makes walking away entirely too difficult.

And I definitely want to validate that, sweetpea. It takes courage. Sometimes, it takes everything you’ve got to ignore that text, reject that call, physically walk away, and defriend/unfollow them on social media. The amount of strength you find within yourself in doing so may astound you.

Let go of them, darling.

(more…)

Stay Away

Stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love.

-Anonymous

It’s Not There Anymore

It’s Not There Anymore

Tear me open, shred my skin;

Crack my ribs, and reach inside my hollow body.

Your hands grasp at the empty spaces,

demanding for my heart.

(more…)

Words I Will Never Say

Found in my diary:

It took everything in my power to pull away.

I knew if I had let myself, I would have fallen deeply, fallen head over heels, fallen nose over knees for you.

I would have drowned in your scent; I would have been overpowered by your voice.

I would have buried myself in your presence.

These are words that I’ve choked back, hoping my feelings will dissolve, hoping my heart will forget.

Gutted

This past week has been emotional. Last weekend was a difficult anniversary, and I also ended up missing a trip that I had been looking forward to for months. I found myself letting down close friends and also found myself caught in a major clusterfuck between two friends. I am treating my best friends like shit, and I am ignoring other people who had been previously frequent guest stars in my life. I’m pushing people away, which is crazy because I feel alone as fuck.

As I type up these words, tears are streaming down my face, and I don’t even know how to stop them. Truthfully, I don’t even know if I want to stop them.

I feel gutted. I feel entirely gutted and ripped to shreds. Every essence of me has spilled out of my opened wounds, and I sit here an empty shell of a person. I feel like an impostor-Eunice is walking around, living my life.

I can’t make heads or tails of what’s going on within myself. I feel the world pulling at me from different directions, and I feel helpless.

(more…)

Imagine…

Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul.

-Unknown

Love Like Crazy – Lee Brice

Recently I heard this song on Pandora…and it brought back so many memories. “Love Like Crazy” is a song I was intensely obsessed with a couple years ago. I just thought I’d share because I’ve become reobsessed with the song. I love the chorus:

“Be her best friend, tell the truth, overuse ‘I love you,’ go to work, do your best, don’t outsmart your common sense, never let your prayer knees get lazy, and love like crazy.”

.

Hope you love it as much as I do.

xx

e

Fear of Love

I stood in front of the door for eight full minutes before I pressed the doorbell.

He opened the door holding several bills in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” he asked looking bewildered and somewhat concerned.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

We both looked at each other. He then waved me into his living room.

“He said he loved me.”

There was a beat of silence.

(more…)

Your All

If you are giving your all to someone and it’s not enough, you’re giving it to the wrong person.

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