Our Deepest Fear

I rewatched one of my favorite movies today. I had forgotten how much I loved Coach Carter when I watched it so many years ago.

I can’t stop crying. It is an amazingly beautiful movie full of fierce love, courage, and dedication. There is so much to learn from this movie; it’s on the list of movies I’d want my kids to watch.

I also love the secular version of Marianne Williams’ quote on our deepest fear:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I want to learn to live and love fiercely. I want to achieve that elusive victory within.




You Know, Right?

They stood on the subway, leaning against the support beam by the doors on the left.

The subway cart was decorated with a myriad of advertisements for diet pills, plastic surgery, language hagwons (private after-school academies), and soju (Korean distilled rice liquor). Their conversation lulled to a stop as the subway pulled out of the station.

“Okay. I kind of get it,” he said suddenly.


“Why you think you’re fat,” he said, looking around the glossy pictures of beautiful women with translucent, pale, flawless skin, giant doe eyes, small dainty and pointy nose, full lips, perfectly proportionate bodies, and long, slim legs. She glanced up, soaking in the images that she absorbed throughout the entirety of her adolescence.


He reached for her hand.

“You know you aren’t, right?” he said squeezing her hand. He looked at her, but she didn’t meet his gaze.



Love for all

I feel like I saw this video years ago, but I came across it again recently.

I wanted to post it so that I always remember this beautiful video.


It’s a beautiful video of love and relationship.


Intimacy of Sleeping With Another Human

I think the most intimate thing I’ve ever done with someone is to sleep side-by-side with another human being in the same bed.

While it was natural for me when I was younger and slept in the same bed as my mom when my dad was working abroad for four years, or when I spent many sleepovers next to my best friends, I never really slept with people I was interested in/attracted to.

It was a line of intimacy I did not cross with anyone. Junior year of college, I slept on the same bed as one of my guy friends when I went on a trip to Iowa during fall break. I remember feeling uncomfortable, and being awake for most of the night. To be fair I was not romantically or sexually interested in the friend I slept on the same bed with. (I find it kind of funny that i have to specify slept with on the same bed, not “slept with” as a euphemism for having sex).

Senior year of college, I was invited to an overnight fraternity formal where I had to share a bed with my date. I was insanely uncomfortable the first night, and I barely slept.

This summer was the first time I slept in the same bed as a guy I was interested in, breaking down the wall and entering a brand new territory of intimacy. As we were “just friends” (as it was an unrequited love situation type of deal), it was not sexual in any way, but it was so…intimate. I felt completely vulnerable and exposed.


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