Sinking Feeling

She turned her head ever so slightly, wondering who had walked through the door. It was too crowded in the room to see the new guest. In the small hotel room shared by two couples, a few too many people bustled about, trying to reach the appropriate level of inebriation.

She smoothed down her red dress before picking up her third glass of a screwdriver that was dangerously close to being a mere glass of vodka with a splash of orange juice. Just like most of the people in the room, she was already buzzing, feeling the intense surge of pleasantness, the urge to shake what her mama gave her, the uplifting warmth, and the increased love for everyone.

She heard her date exclaim with welcome, and she looked on the hug attacks on this new fellow with a smile. After the commotion of welcoming him faded, she finally saw his face; his face was crinkled into a smile. She couldn’t help but notice how kind he looked. Oh and how very cute he was. She couldn’t decide if her insides felt like sun was shining into it because of the boy’s smile or because of the alcohol.

She decided it was the vodka.

She felt her date pull her hand toward the new boy. Her date introduced the boy as part of his pledge family. She stood there with her half empty glass in her hand, smiling and nodding at the conversation that quickly ensued. It was easy. The bottom of her stomach felt loose, and she felt flutters in the hollowness.

She soon discovered that the new boy had a girlfriend who could not be there that evening. She nodded with slight relief and slight disappointment. Reaching for the handle of vodka to refresh her drink, she decided to move back towards her other friends, to safety.

She shook her drink gently as she joined her friends in a conversation about life after graduation. They shared horror stories of the job hunt. Every other minute, she found herself looking over their heads at the new boy. Every other time, she caught his eyes, and he smiled. By the fifth time, she turned her body ever so slightly so that she faced the wall.

She laughed just a little too hard at her friend’s joke, trying to shake off the sinking feeling, this was the beginning of something quite wonderfully painful painfully wonderful.

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