20 Reasons Why Food Is Better Than People

Thought Catalog

 

  • If you are careless with a pie, and you break the pie and it dies, you can just replace it.
  • Potato chips don’t give you a judgmental side-eye when you turn on your 8th episode of a show of the day on Netflix while rejecting a call from your mom.
  • If you fall asleep with a half-finished pizza in your bed, it doesn’t steal the covers.
  • Sub sandwiches don’t subtweet.
  • Pringles are amazingly consistent. You always get the same thing, so you’re never disappointed. There are literally no humans who are that dependable.
  • Bagels don’t talk shit behind your back.
  • Brownies don’t post 87 engagement photos on Facebook that seriously look exactly the fucking same.
  • Fried rice doesn’t expect a Valentine’s Day present, or a birthday present, or Christmas, or anything except to be eaten. That’s all it wants. That’s all you want. You and fried rice share…

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