I’m Hurt

And then there are nights when the tears come easy.

It starts with something really simple. It starts with a moving scene from Grey’s Anatomy. It starts with a scene of a woman who has just lost a son, declaring that she will wait in the hospital until the parents of a young girl who is rushed to surgery come to the hospital. You are touched by the love this woman has for a stranger, for a child who survived a plane crash her son did not.

And moments later, you realize that you are no longer crying about the woman or the girl on Grey’s Anatomy. Instead you’re crying straight from your heart, your eyes squeezing out tears of your pain.

You’re not really sure why you’re crying, but you are crying so hard, you can barely breathe.

You turn off Netflix and turn on your “One of Those Nights” playlist. You keep crying through song after song.

You are breathing loudly, heaving, coughing. You sound like a crazy person or maybe an elephant giving birth. But you don’t care.

You are rocking back and forth, your arms holding your knees close to your chest. And the only words that come to your lips are, “I’m hurt.”

And you sit there, on your bed, alone, just repeating those words.

“I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt. I’m hurt.”

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