I like you

Recently I told someone that I liked him.

Later he told me that it freaked him out when I said I liked him.

To be fair there was a slight miscommunication in terms of what I had meant when I said I liked him. I said I was surprised by how much I liked him, and I forgot to mention that I was surprised because we had met at a bar. I hadn’t really expected to actually enjoy his company so much.

And so initially I felt bad about jumping the gun in saying that I liked him. I felt like suddenly there was a lot of pressure for us to be something more than what we were. But all I had meant was that I enjoyed spending time with him.

But then my friend M asked me, “So what if you meant to say that you did really like him a lot. Why is that a bad thing?”

It kind of threw me off. He did bring up a good point. So what if I did really like him. Why would that be a bad thing?

My other friend B said something similar.

“Eunice, it sounds like you want to see him, talk to him, hang out with him; even if you hadn’t meant it, you’re acting like you genuinely like the guy. And shouldn’t it be a red flag for you if someone freaks out because you like him?”

Also a fair point.

I feel like in our dating culture, there is a lot of pressure to be the one who “cares less,” plays it cool. Everybody keeps telling me that I have to play the game, play hard to get in order to reel in a guy.

But the truth is, I hate playing games, and I hate people who play.

I don’t like the idea of fucking with someone’s mind. It’s not a nice thing to do, and if you genuinely like someone, why would you want to confuse the crap out of them?

I know I come with a lot of baggage. And because of my past, I find it hard to feel comfortable around guys, open up about myself with ease, share intimate moments, and actually develop feelings for them. So I know I count it as a win, if I ever find myself liking someone genuinely.

It’s strange, because this isn’t the first time someone has tried to make me feel bad for liking someone. It seems to be a trend of sorts to think that caring about someone is somehow something to fear…or something. It wasn’t like I was saying that we had to be in a serious relationship. I just wanted to express the fact that I was having a good time and that I liked his presence in my life.

I’ve always been the girl who wears her heart on her sleeves, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that I realized that it wasn’t a weakness. It took me a long time to celebrate this aspect of my personality. I’m always going to be honest about how I feel, and I won’t let anyone tell me that it’s not okay.

I care about you. I’m not going to apologize for that.

xx

eunice

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2 Comments

  1. “I’ve always been the girl who wears her heart on her sleeves, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that I realized that it wasn’t a weakness.” Wow, the first part is definitely me… but I haven’t gotten to your understanding just yet. I feel like it’s just too easy to get hurt because of it… anyways, good luck with the boy 🙂 x

    Reply
  1. Honesty is not the best policy | Simply Beautiful

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