Uncertain but Exciting

The past two days have been spent looking at craigslist, looking for my next “home,” where the next chapter of my life will take place. My best friend V (speaking of whom has an awesome blog) and I have been looking through the listings, trying to envision our next month, next year, next steps together.

Honestly, it’s terrifying. I can come up with so many scenarios in which things go wrong, and sometimes I have this pull to stay here, where I am comfortable and safe. I know people here. I have friends here. I have mentors here. I have memories here. In the new place, we’re going to be broke, living off bagels, eggs, and rice; we are going to work long hours and not be able to sleep; we are going to miss home and family; we are going to get our hearts broken; we are going to have sucky jobs until we get enough experience; and we are going to make many mistakes. This uncertainty is frightening because I don’t know where this road will lead me.

But it’s also exciting; I keep thinking that our lives will be like New Girl or How I Met Your Mother. This would be the start of an amazing adventure full of new people, new memories, and new challenges, and new victories. Of course our lives will not be spent at a pub every night filled with people who look like models and drama (though who are we kidding, this is me we’re talking about…my life could pretty much be a soap opera), but it can also be so awesome. I can see our lives being amazing: decorating the common room with Christmas lights and beautiful pictures, baking slutty brownies on the weekends, cooking “Family Friday Dinners” with my suitemates, watching Grey’s Anatomy together, crying over boys, laughing at our silliness, and following our dreams.

It’s strange how sometimes the scariest things are the most amazing things, how the things we are afraid of are sometimes the very things we need to grow into the person we want to be.

So here I am, about to take an uncertain but exciting step forward.

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Here goes nothing.

xx

eunice

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2 Comments

  1. V. Lee

     /  August 2, 2013

    Seriously, it’s going to suck monkey butt for the first couple of months as we scrimp and save each and every penny (including picking ones up off of the subway floors). But it’ll be super awesome, too, because we’ll be in the same boat and can help each other out. And we’ll bring the party to our place (: (: (:

    Reply
  1. Taking Chances | Defining V.

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