Don’t Hide

I saw this poem by Shel Silverstein:

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And my heart felt really sad. Do you know the feeling when there is this weird pang in your heart, and you know that your heart is physically aching from something you’ve seen, read, heard, smelled, touched, tasted, dreamed, thought?

I felt that pang when I read this poem. There’s something heartbreaking in searching for something that is right in front of you, which you would know if people didn’t hide parts of who they are.

Several months ago, I had a heart to heart with a boy I barely knew; he was a friend of a friend. We ended up talking for some reason that night. He was telling me about this girl who was making his life complicated, and I was nodding along, agreeing with him when he said “Finding someone to be with is so freaking hard.”

He said that he likes girls who can be silly and quirky, but most seem to hide that part of themselves around guys. He said that girls want to come off cool and completely collected.

And I couldn’t help but remember the many times I swallowed some comment or thought because I didn’t want to come off as a weirdo, the times I sat in silence because I didn’t know how to vocalize the fact that I was uncomfortable with what someone had said, the times I smiled politely at a joke I didn’t understand, the times I laughed at a story I didn’t get the reference to, the times I pretended to dislike something or call it “guilty pleasure” (I don’t feel guilty for liking it!), the times I cried in private, and the times I ate/drank something considered classy and pretended to like it.

I’ve come to realize something.

People will see you how they want to see you; they will always come up with reasons to like you or dislike you. So you might as well be true to yourself, right?

Why act like something you’re not, when somebody could be falling in love with the person you actually are?

As long as you are not hurting other people, you should feel like you don’t have to hide who you are. And really, shame on people who make others feel like they have to hide parts of themselves.

I want people to love me, the REAL me, not just the mask I put on. It’s cliche, and I feel like this message has been beaten to death, but this is the first time I really truly believe it.

I love cats. I watch TV shows shamelessly. I love country music. I still think Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync are awesome. I listen to One Direction. I’ve read all of the Twilight saga. I love reading. I love crying while watching movies or TV shows. I love crying while reading. I love crying with the candles lit. I love shopping. I love scaring the bejeezus out of people. I love doodling and painting even though I’m atrocious at it. I sing at the top of my lungs in the car. I wear my hair in a side ponytail. I love sappy, mushy things.

And I make no apologies for who I am.

xx

eunice

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  1. Don’t Hide pt. 2 | Simply Beautiful

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