Intimacy of Sleeping With Another Human

I think the most intimate thing I’ve ever done with someone is to sleep side-by-side with another human being in the same bed.

While it was natural for me when I was younger and slept in the same bed as my mom when my dad was working abroad for four years, or when I spent many sleepovers next to my best friends, I never really slept with people I was interested in/attracted to.

It was a line of intimacy I did not cross with anyone. Junior year of college, I slept on the same bed as one of my guy friends when I went on a trip to Iowa during fall break. I remember feeling uncomfortable, and being awake for most of the night. To be fair I was not romantically or sexually interested in the friend I slept on the same bed with. (I find it kind of funny that i have to specify slept with on the same bed, not “slept with” as a euphemism for having sex).

Senior year of college, I was invited to an overnight fraternity formal where I had to share a bed with my date. I was insanely uncomfortable the first night, and I barely slept.

This summer was the first time I slept in the same bed as a guy I was interested in, breaking down the wall and entering a brand new territory of intimacy. As we were “just friends” (as it was an unrequited love situation type of deal), it was not sexual in any way, but it was so…intimate. I felt completely vulnerable and exposed.

Realistically, while I’m sleeping, he could easily kill me, smother me, draw on my face, cut my hair, puke on me, leave me, rob me, etc. But this vulnerability was definitely more than that. It was the idea of falling asleep with someone, and waking up with that same someone. It was the idea of ending a day with someone and beginning another with that same someone.

It was my head on his chest. It was the beating of his heart in my ears. It was the stroking of my hair. It was the little kiss on my shoulder. It was our limbs entangled in each other. It was a land of intimacy to which I had never traveled before. It was the feeling of being connected to someone in a way I had never experienced before.

It was the fact that I actually did fall asleep. It was the fact that I felt tied to this person in ways I cannot adequately explain.

It was simply, beautiful.



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  1. V. Lee

     /  July 26, 2013

    So glad you feel the same as me ❤

  2. V. Lee

     /  July 26, 2013

    Totally going to write something on this, too.

  1. Rules to Live By | Defining V.

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