Dear you,

Today I was thinking about missed opportunities. Your face popped in my mind.

Every time I think of bad timing, I think of you. It’s not that we had one missed moment, it’s that the story of you and me is a series of crappy timing. We met when I was dating someone else. Months later when I began to like you (and became single), you weren’t looking for a relationship. Months later, I wasn’t really looking for a relationship. A year later, we were no longer good friends and entered the phase of awkward acquaintances.

Your Facebook posts always make me think, and a lot of the times, your world views align well with mine. I’ve told my best friend J so many times that you and I would be great together; I’m actually starting to think my bringing up your name is annoying.

There are days like today, I have a hard time shaking off the feeling that I was supposed to have ended up with you. I wonder what would have happened if I had realized three years ago that I deserved better than how B was treating me, deserved to be with someone who would have really helped me grow.

Of course I recognize that I may be highly idealizing who you are and what we could have been. And yet I sit here looking at the article you posted about, thinking, “Wow this totally speaks to me.” Maybe we missed our timing, and maybe we aren’t meant to be with each other in a romantic way, but I wonder what would have happened if we kept up our friendship. How would my life be different if you and I were still good friends?

Do you think about this at all?



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